I felt like I was walking the plank! Really, that’s how my divorce felt. My ship was in turmoil or mutiny and I was forced to leave, walkthe plank, and abandon ship. There was no turning back. It was sink or swim. I jumped, and a rush of emotions came over me. What I discovered in the next few months were the keys to help me create the life I truly desired. After my divorce I was determined to recreate my life and myself. There were many obstacles to overcome and I figured out the five things I needed most to live Happy Ever After.
Step 1: Time and Space to Heal First
I discovered that I needed time and space to heal. I stopped blaming him, and myself and began to love and forgive myself. It’s easy to stay stuck in the blame game, when it’s all over it really doesn’t matter. What you do after the storm speaks about your character. So I made it my mission to mend my broken heart and grow stronger. I took care of myself and didn’t rush the healing process. I attended personal development, and relationship seminars so I could grow from the whole tragic experience.
Step 2: I Rebranded.
Literally I changed my hair, my clothes, my style, and my look. It was fun todo this and I needed it. After all, my identity as a wife was done, so who did I want to be? I took some time and recreated my look. I’m happy to say that I feel like I look better than when I was married.
Step 3: Clarity
Next, I got crystal clear on what I didn’t want in my new life and from that discovery I made a list of what I most wanted. Instead of staying stuck talking about the negatives, I turned them into positive affirmations and I used The Law of Attraction to bring them into my life by talking about it. For example, I knew I didn’t want dishonesty in my next relationship so I created the statement “I am honest, and it’s so exciting to think about sharing my life with an honest, loving, caring and supportive man who understands me.”
Step 4: Make New Friends
This was hard, but I knew deep down that I had to make new friends. I lost a lot of friends and acquaintances in the divorce so I knew I had to rebuild my friend base. It was also important and healthy for me to have friends who didn’t know him. I was attending local networking events to build my client base for my business, but I found that I was making more and more friends. I totally believe that it was an awesome way to meet quality people.
Step 5: Fix My Mindset
The final piece of the puzzle was my inner work on my mindset. I had to believe my ability to create the life I truly desired or nothing was going to turn out the way I wanted it to. I had heard my mentors and favorite speakers talk about how you must “believe in order to receive”. It’s not the opposite like we had been taught “Believe it when I see it.” It’s actually the opposite and adopting this mindset was paramount in creating my Happy Ever After.
As an extra bonus I want to share something else that kept me going in the right direction. Honor the journey.
Embrace the fact that it may be a bit of a struggle as well. It has taken me years to get to where I am today. In addition to attending a dozen seminars, I have studied many books, listened to people speak and devoted lots of time to listening to self help audio series. I’ve also purchased many different programs online, and researched countless ways to recreate myself. It wasn’t easy, but I truly believe that my journey gave me the passion to help other women just like me. SoI want to let you know, it may not be easy, and it may be a bit of a struggle, so honor that. Sometimes, I say to my clients, “Embrace the suck.” Because transformation and shedding old skins, while adopting new habits, sometimes sucks at first. Also, I was patient with myself because it took me a long time to get all unraveled, so it was going to take me a while to become my ideal self. Be patient as well. Things rarely just change overnight. Usually, something new starts to develop slowly inside of you, so give it time to start developing. Give yourself time and be patient. Be patient with yourself and be patient with this journey. Then with the tenacity of a Pitt Bull be persistent.
Keep going little by little, bit by bit. You will eventually get to where you want to be.
Like me you too can live “Happy Ever After”.